Want to Interact with Other Moms Without the Risk of Mom-Shaming?

By Karmen Thulin, PsyD

If you are on the internet as a new mom, you’ve almost definitely witnessed it or felt its searing burn – mom shaming. It is that comment often housed in the phrase, “I just couldn’t do that to my baby.” Mom shaming cuts right to the heart of the fears many of us hold – that we aren’t doing this parenting thing right. Sometimes it goes to an even worse fear – that we are actively harming our child. Shame is an insidious emotion because it urges us to hide and, like mold, shame will just continue to proliferate as it sits there in the dark. While mom shaming has probably existed for eons the internet makes it difficult to avoid and so encourages the hiding/shame-growing scenario. Why seek support when in doing so you could just be shamed again? But then how do you do this intimidating-hairy-beast-thing of mothering without a community of other parents?

Luckily a solution exists. Many birth centers, community spaces, therapy groups, and hospitals have begun to provide post-partum (and beyond) mother/parenting support groups. Because they are moderated by a health or mental health professionals, these groups are intentional about preventing a shaming tone. This makes space for moms to share the real experiences and emotions that aren’t necessarily Instagram-pretty or what you’d want to broadcast on Facebook. There are two particularly beautiful things that can happen in this sort of space. One is a realization and acceptance that there are a million different and good ways to be a parent, you just need to find your particular way. The other is an understanding that both sides of mom-shaming usually come from the care and love for our kids – and that is a glorious thing that we should never feel like hiding.  

Here are some options for Denver and around the country.

Denver Area Groups:

National Resources:

  • Psychology Today – listings of local support and therapy groups – psychologytoday.com
  • Mocha Moms – support and service group for moms of color – mochamoms.org
  • La Leche League – breastfeeding support – lllusa.org
  • Because I Love You – parent support for youth and parents – bily.org 

ABOUT AUTHOR

Karmen Thulin

Dr. Karmen Thulin believes in the power of collaboration between client and therapist to create meaningful, lasting change. People who work with Karmen experience her as warm and genuine, with a thirst for helping you to identify what needs to shift in order to live your life in alignment with your values. She works with teens, adults and couples who are looking to make important changes in their lives. Karmen specializes in working with people who have been through traumatic life events, including early childhood trauma. She believes in the capacity of humans to heal from the impacts of trauma, is trained in EMDR, and is versed in applying third-wave contextual behaviorism to the treatment of trauma. Her deep knowledge and her non-judgmental, accepting style helps her clients to feel safe as they embark with her on the journey of healing after trauma. Dr. Karmen Thulin is an action-oriented couple’s therapist who focuses on helping you make concrete shifts in your relationship. A few of her areas of expertise with couples are resolving conflict, healing after betrayal, helping you to work through the impacts of one partner’s trauma on the relationship, and increasing physical and emotional intimacy in the relationship. If you are ready to make a change and give yourself the gift of healing, Karmen may be a great fit for you. She is easy to connect with, deeply compassionate, and has the training and knowledge needed to help you reach your goals.