Nurturing Your Relationship: Expressing Admiration and Appreciation
Adapted by Dr. Katie Godfrey, LMFT from And Baby Makes Three by John M. Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman
care for your relationship Through Gratitude
The transition from couple-hood to parent-hood can be exhilarating, exhausting, fascinating, enchanting, and overwhelming. Oftentimes parents are focused on their babies (rightly so!) and may feel unappreciated by their partners. It is so easy to focus on our complaints, especially in times of stress or transition, that we forget to verbalize what we love about them! In addition to thanking your partner when they do something you appreciate, it is also important to remember your partner’s personal qualities that you fell in love with in the beginning. You’ll be surprised at how much your relationship will change if you start verbalizing what you admire, appreciate, and respect about them!
Instructions: Read over this list of potential positive qualities your partner may possess. Choose three items from the list that you really appreciate. Then, for each item, think of a time when your partner demonstrated that particular quality. Write down a note/memory about it next to the item. Now share with your partner the items you chose, and your appreciation of them.
Positive Qualities List
- Your partner's energy
- Your partner's strength
- Your partner's ability to take charge
- Your partner's flexibility
- Your partner's sensitivity
- How well your partner listens to you
- How well your partner supports you
- How well your partner responds to your moods
- Your partner's warmth
- Your partner's enthusiasm
- Your partner's ability to have fun
- Your partner's ability as a lover
- Your partner's sensuality
- Your partner as a refuge for you
- Your partner's dependability
- Your partner's tenderness
- Your partner's imagination
- Your partner's creativity
- Your partner's artistry
- Your partner's eyes
- Your partner's trustworthiness
- Your partner's passion
- Your partner's romantic nature
- Your partner's gracefulness
- Your partner's compassion
- Your partner's amiability
- The way your partner kisses you
- Your partner's playfulness
- Your partner’s ability to be a good friend to others
- Your partner's competence
- Your partner's parenting of your baby
- Your partner's sense of humor
- Your partner's looks in clothes
- Your partner's look without clothes
- Your partner's loyalty
- Your partner's sense of style
- Your partner's values
- Your partner's sense of morality
- Your partner's social activism
- Your partner's spirituality
- Other positive qualities: (Fill in the blank)
Read more Blog Posts from Dr. Katie Godfrey
At The Catalyst Center, we take pride in our promotion of healthy relationships of all types. We love nurturing intimacy and love in all the forms it takes and we hope you will take some time to celebrate love and connection during this Pride weekend!
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EMDR is a fast-acting therapeutic process through which people are able to reprocess negative thoughts, feelings, or experiences. It is one of the most researched therapies and has been in existence for over 25 years. Initially, EMDR was used for those who had experienced trauma or had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Now, though the dedicated research of therapists, we know that EMDR is useful in many other aspects of healing.
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View the linked video in this post to learn about the profound benefits EMDR can have for people struggling with traumatic experiences. You will hear the powerful stories of healing, recovery, and growth that can come through EMDR. The Catalyst Center recognizes the value this treatment can have for so many people and want to continue spreading the word that there is hope for healing!
Get to know Dr. Katie Godfrey in this interview clip where she talks to us about what her clients love about working with her.
Families and relationships shift a great deal during times of transition or growth. Nurturing your relationship becomes even more crucial during periods of change, and it is beneficial to make gratitude and appreciation an intentional exercise with your partner. See some of the great suggestions on how to reconnect to your positive emotions associated with your partner.
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How to tell is someone you know may be struggling with Postpartum Depression. If you notice these signs, reach out to her and let her know there is help available.
Learn more about the Catalyst Center's Services
At The Catalyst Center, we practice Collaborative Therapeutic Assessment which is an approach to assessment that seeks to maximize the therapeutic impact of assessment. We use data and our clinical knowledge to gain a deep complex understanding of you. This knowledge becomes the foundation of creating real and lasting change in your life. This approach has been shown in research to create positive therapeutic change in the clients who participate.
Especially when children are involved, we find understanding how the whole family works together (identifying each person's individual style and how they all interact) allows us to better help the child and the parents and often opens up new ways of understanding that we might have missed were we only looking at the child in isolation.
Many parents seek us out for family assessment when they feel like nothing they have tried is working. We take the time to intensively understand every person in your family and work with the whole family to make important changes that can help you move back into better connected peaceful relationship with each other.
At The Catalyst Center we provide pre-adoption psychological assessments for families adopting internationally and domestically. We tailor our assessments to meet the specific requirements of each country with which we work, and work with your adoption agency to ensure we fulfill all requirements. Generally speaking the question we seek to answer in the assessment is “Are these parents ready to adopt, and if not what additional support do they need to become ready to adopt?”
Our pre-adoption evaluations are more than just another hoop to jump through. Instead, we use the assessment process as a therapeutic opportunity for our adoptive parents to learn more about themselves and their relationship and gain the confidence and skills needed to take on the wonderful, life-altering challenge of adoption. Part of this therapeutic approach to assessment means that we invite all of our parents to ask their own unique questions about themselves and their relationship for us to consider along with the general adoption-readiness question. The answers to these personal questions are just for you, and are not included in the formal report we prepare for the adoption unless you request it.
Couples Assessment is an intensive, brief treatment approach based on the principles of collaborative/therapeutic assessment. Sometimes looking at the whole system is more effective than focusing on only one of its parts. This philosophy is underlying modern approaches to couples therapy. Likewise, it often makes sense to assess what is going on in a couple rather than look at one person in isolation.
Psychological Assessment can be a powerful tool for personal growth. We use assessment as an opportunity for brief, intensive treatment geared towards answering your questions and planning your next steps towards living the life you desire.
A collaborative therapeutic assessment can also be very helpful as an adjunct to therapy. Part of why assessment is so important is that many mental health conditions have a lot in common and are very hard to differentiate. We want to tailor your treatment to your specific strengths and challenges, and a well-done assessment can help speed up the process of getting better by providing a detailed road map. Assessment can provide answers to questions that are getting in the way of your therapy and help you and your therapist jump into the work with a detailed, hand crafted plan for how to tailor therapy to your individual personality.
Sometimes a child is struggling at home, at school, or with friendships and we aren't sure why. It isn't uncommon for people who don't know better to pin labels on a kid who is struggling such as "lazy" or "ADD" or "undisciplined." In our extensive experience, when a child is struggling, there is always a reason why. Understanding that "why" is the key to discovering how to help your child find his or her path towards a healthy and successful life.
A well-done assessment will give you a clear and accurate picture of your child's strengths and challenges emotionally, socially, and academically. This information can demystify why they are struggling even when you try everything you can think of to help. With the assessment results, we are able to tailor a detailed plan just for your child with concrete suggestions and recommendations to help you get unstuck as a parent, and help your child get on a happy and successful path.
Dr. Joey Tadie is a licensed psychologist with specialized training in psychological assessment, many years of clinical experience and strong assessment skills. He is adept at moving beyond just a diagnosis and understanding you as a whole, complex, individual. He digs into the causes of and solutions to the challenges you are facing. He is adept at using comprehensive psychological evaluation to understand the "why" behind your challenges, and to use that understanding to chart a path forward specifically tailored to help.
Dr. Lies vanBekkum excels at looking beyond the difficult symptoms on the surface of people who are struggling and into the heart of the matter, determining what is really driving the problems you are facing so that we can discover how to shift it. She understands the complexity of families and helps you to understand how your family dynamics are impacting you and discover ways to help shift problematic patterns.
Dr. Jacklin provides consultation on all assessments provided by The Catalyst Center and supervises the postdoctoral and advanced graduate student assessment programs. She is a former elementary school teacher turned psychologist who understands emotional conditions, ADHD, and learning disabilities from both inside and outside the classroom. She has taught and supervised assessment at the graduate level. Dr. Jacklin is passionate about accurately identifying and treating emotional, learning, and attentional conditions, using assessment as a tool to improve outcomes for people of all ages.
Call 720-675-7123 to get more information about our two ongoing groups for new parents.
EMDR can help you to resolve painful memories from the past; after these memories are resolved you get to feel calm and safe again and no longer "stirred up" when reminded of difficulties in your past. EMDR can also help you reduce stress, increase confidence, and feel more positively about yourself and your future.
Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence-based practice that has been shown through over 25 years of research to effectively decrease or eliminate the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Anxiety, and Depression.
Research has show that EMDR can be a rapid and effective treatment.
EMDR was originally developed to treat the effects of trauma. It is also commonly reported to be helpful with:
Achieving Peak Performance in Sports, Public Speaking, and Academics
Improving Self-Esteem and Reducing Stress
Decreasing Performance Anxiety
Letting go of Negative Beliefs about Yourself, the World, and Others
Reducing or Resolving Emotional Issues Related to Painful Memories. Stress, Mood, or Anxiety
A bibliography of the extensive 25+ years of research about the benefits of EMDR can be found at the EMDR International Association's website: www.emdria.org
Join the millions of Neurofeedback users who enjoy the benefits of reduced stress,
improved sleep, and relief from symptoms that used to hold them back.
Neurofeedback is a 100% non-invasive, drug-free, brain training system that helps the central nervous system (CNS) make the best use of your brain’s natural resources and help you achieve a calmer, more well-balanced state of being. It has no known side effects. We have found Neurofeedback to be very helpful as an adjunct to talk therapy, or on its own.